Mid-life Crisis
One would be seeing their children into life and seeing out parents out of life.
Once it so happened that Only Swami, Gorvadhan Anna and Me were sitting. Swami started a conversation about his childhood education.
He folded his palm and showed how to determine the number of days in a month on the knucles. The bottom of the index finger raised denotes 31 days, the gap between the index finger and middle finger will be for the next month for 30 days, and so on.
Next he talked about the Chandramana or lunar month. I wanted to have a conversation and say that "Suryamana (Solar Month) is followed in Tamilnadu, Chandramana (Jupiter Month) in Andhra Pradesh and Brihaspatya Mana (Jupiter Month) in U.P."
The speech of a person raises from his Navel to Heart to Throat and then through mouth. This in tradition is called Para, Pashyanti and Vaikhiri, 3 stages of speech. After the thought, my words did not pass through even my throat, swami looked at me intently and asked if i do my daily Sandhyavandana.
That was sufficient to crush and humble my ego. Later when i reflected, the entire incident a number of times, i realize that it was all (as-if) enacted to probe and see if i still have in me the tendency to start a conversation.
As i Learnt, In the presence of Masters, one is not supposed to engage in a conversation. It is the master who speaks and the seeker obeys or listens. One would never engage in a conversation taking turns. Starting a conversation is a symbol of residual ego, where there is a second party to ask a question or clarify or ascertain or take a stand etc.
Note: The above applies if one takes the stance of a follower / seeker / devotee of the Master. This will be the first lesson or principle to adopt and follow.
When one passes through the age 25-40, it is a phase of mid-life crisis. Being a house-holder, one will have to carry out the responsibilities towards parents, spouse and children. From my experience it is the most stressful part of one's life. This is a stage where many of us get to experience the departure of our loved ones or career break due to loss of job or financial stress or redefining our relationships with loved ones etc.
One would be seeing their children into life and seeing out parents out of life.
At one such time i was in a very stressful situation with my interpersonal relationship with my family members undergoing a transformation.
Note: Everyone gets to face this when Saturn pass through the 4th or 8th or 1st house from their Rasi - For People who have exposure to basic astrology.
As habituated for many years, i visited Darga to stay for 2-3 days.
Note: Everyone gets to face this when Saturn pass through the 4th or 8th or 1st house from their Rasi - For People who have exposure to basic astrology.
As habituated for many years, i visited Darga to stay for 2-3 days.
From the beginning, i was never intent about taking any personal matters to Swami's notice. So i was carrying myself in a quiet manner on this visit also.
That particular day, my psyche was very fragile and i was sitting at a little distance in the presence of Swami in a contemplative mood. As usual the Darbar went on till about 11:00 / 11:30 AM. When all the audience were cleared only Govardhan Anna and me were left.
Swami turned towards me and asked me tenderly in a low voice as to why i am so soft that day. I was speechless and could not hold myself. Tears rolled down from my eyes. There was no conversation after that.
I felt a lot of relief in my heart after that. I remember this experience even after many years as if it is still deep in my heart. When i look back and try to recollect all the time i spent in his presence, this event comes up on my mind many times.
A Sadguru rarely/never diverts or avoids any negative or unpleasant aspect of life that his devotees has to undergo. He rather strengthens the character of his devotee so that he faces/passes through these situations with the least stress without too much identification.
In the current times all one has to do is to keep oneself in the presence of such masters as much possible.
Conversations, Conversations, Conversations !!!
Once it so happened that Only Swami, Gorvadhan Anna and Me were sitting. Swami started a conversation about his childhood education.
He folded his palm and showed how to determine the number of days in a month on the knucles. The bottom of the index finger raised denotes 31 days, the gap between the index finger and middle finger will be for the next month for 30 days, and so on.
Next he talked about the Chandramana or lunar month. I wanted to have a conversation and say that "Suryamana (Solar Month) is followed in Tamilnadu, Chandramana (Jupiter Month) in Andhra Pradesh and Brihaspatya Mana (Jupiter Month) in U.P."
The speech of a person raises from his Navel to Heart to Throat and then through mouth. This in tradition is called Para, Pashyanti and Vaikhiri, 3 stages of speech. After the thought, my words did not pass through even my throat, swami looked at me intently and asked if i do my daily Sandhyavandana.
That was sufficient to crush and humble my ego. Later when i reflected, the entire incident a number of times, i realize that it was all (as-if) enacted to probe and see if i still have in me the tendency to start a conversation.
As i Learnt, In the presence of Masters, one is not supposed to engage in a conversation. It is the master who speaks and the seeker obeys or listens. One would never engage in a conversation taking turns. Starting a conversation is a symbol of residual ego, where there is a second party to ask a question or clarify or ascertain or take a stand etc.
Note: The above applies if one takes the stance of a follower / seeker / devotee of the Master. This will be the first lesson or principle to adopt and follow.
I am recording these events years after they happened, when i look back to recollect and reflect, many of these incidents are still so fresh in my mind as if they happened yesterday.
What was astonishing me is the manner in which Swami cut short as if he was expecting that what i was about to speak. The message is that instead of speaking loftily on theological/philosophical concepts it is far better to walk or practice it a little.
What was astonishing me is the manner in which Swami cut short as if he was expecting that what i was about to speak. The message is that instead of speaking loftily on theological/philosophical concepts it is far better to walk or practice it a little.
Be Frugal
One Day, I went to Darga with few items wrapped in a news paper. Generally it is a good practice not to go empty handed and take some offerings when visiting holy places or people. Though Swami does not accept any material offerings, anything what so ever.
After consuming the contents i tried to coil and crush the paper with an intent to dispose it off, right infront of Swami.
Swami kind of felt restless and uneasy and asked me to fold and keep it.
From his expression i felt as if he identified himself with the paper and felt the pain and uneasiness.
Later i stayed for a day or two and at the time of leaving, Shankaria customarily asked me to take home few sweets made for the function. Desperately i looked for something to wrap/pack and could not find. Finally i recollected that i placed the folded paper and took it out to use it.
Apparently this might not look to be a serious and worthy incident to take note of. Even years after the incident i still recollect very freshly.
In cities we are so used to consuming things indiscriminately and dispose them of with out any thought of re-using them.
I could not forget the response of Swami..as he was identifying himself with the paper..
It was on one of the return journey, as usual we were waiting to take permission from Swami to leave. It was around 10:30 AM in the morning. We came by car on this occasion, me and my family.
New Year Eve
I happened to be in Darga on 1st January, 2010. Attending the first Aarati of the year early in the mornings was a unique experience. I don’t exactly remember but Swami Spoke for 2 min on how the year would be, saying the year started on a particular weekday etc.
2011, I made it a point to be in Darga on 1st January, eagerly awaiting what swami would tell about the year 2011. He was briefer then 2010 and the Aarati concluded.
Come 2012, I was in the Aarati with the same anticipation on what the indication for 2012 would be. It was a punch line experience for me. After the Aarathi, Swami asked all the attendees to go and circumambulate in Darga for 11 times and pray so that their wishes would be fulfilled. There was a typical assurance in the tone of his voice. He used to say this only 2-3 other times a year.
When I contemplated and reflected this so many times subsequently, the biggest endeavor of any person would be to “Get Rid of his Unhappiness/Pain” and “Attain/Achieve his desire or a state of happiness”. Why would one care on how the year would be if the above two objectives are fulfilled.
All the endeavors, by whatever means, any one undertakes is to achieve the above twin objectives.
The message of Swami was very direct to fulfill the above twin objectives.
Travel Experiences
I stay in Hyderabad and frequent to Darga. Swami gave me an instruction that when ever i come to Darga, not to plan or reserve my tickets for the return journey. I would plan my return journey only after informing Swami and taking his approval. I have been visiting like this for over 10 years now.
Travel Experience - AccidentTravel Experiences
I stay in Hyderabad and frequent to Darga. Swami gave me an instruction that when ever i come to Darga, not to plan or reserve my tickets for the return journey. I would plan my return journey only after informing Swami and taking his approval. I have been visiting like this for over 10 years now.
This is a source where i experienced the infinite presence and compassion of the master. Every return journey for me is very unique with a memorable experience. I will try to capture few of them as they happened.
On 24th August, 2016, i was reading thru few saints and came over the below Saint...It instantly struck upon me..so related to my experience
More details can be had from the link:
https://www.flickr.com/photos/100gurus/3013443391/in/album-72157602121624328/
On 24th August, 2016, i was reading thru few saints and came over the below Saint...It instantly struck upon me..so related to my experience
More details can be had from the link:
https://www.flickr.com/photos/100gurus/3013443391/in/album-72157602121624328/
It was on one of the return journey, as usual we were waiting to take permission from Swami to leave. It was around 10:30 AM in the morning. We came by car on this occasion, me and my family.
The regular Darbar has started with people flocking around Swami for relief from their difficulties. We normally used to sit a little away from the crowd and wait for Swami to signal asking if we want to leave. We would rise then go and take his blessing before leaving.
On this occasion it was getting 11:30 AM, we had been waiting for over 45 Minutes and we did not receive any signal from Swami. I was getting anxious as time passed and finally around 11:30 AM raised a little to draw his attention. Swami looked at us and asked if we wanted to leave. We took his blessing and left.
On the drive back home, at Nandyal, I happened to witness an accident, a boy of 6-8 years age crushed by a Lorry on the road. The traffic was moving slowly, police were regulating the situation. The body of the boy has not yet been moved from the site. My wife and kid were sitting in the back seat with me driving. I could see the bleeding body of the boy on the road. It was just for a few moments, however it scarred my mind and took a few days to recover.
Luckily my wife and kid were sleeping and did not watch the incident. When i look back, had i waited for a little more while at Darga itself, the body would have been cleared and i would not had a situation to watch the crushed body of a small boy.
It is because of my anxiety and inability to hold myself in surrender to his will, i had to face the situation.
In all the mysterious ways of a Sadguru protects his devotees, we have to completely surrender ourselves and be in his control. If we flinch even by a blink, we may not be able to face the consequence.
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